Life is a Masquerade

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Me at my Doctor's office today:

Doctor:
Are you sexually active?
Me:
Nope
Doctor:
Do you smoke?
Me:
Nope
Doctor:
Do you drink alcohol?
Me:
Nope
Doctor:
Do you take any kind of drugs?
Me:
Nope
Doctor:
...
Me:
Oh don't look at me like that. People like me still exist.